Shave Em Down, Make Em Smooth

Every day I come home from work to an inbox overflowing with e mails, most of which are comments about the most recent post. But sprinkled in between, I get comments from classic posts — stuff I’ve written a while ago and totally forgotten about. Just last week I got a comment about Excuse Me Mo, an irreverent open letter to Monique that I wrote in 2006. I figure my post ranks high up in a Google search for Monique or hairy legs or something — either way, wow did that prove to be a divisive topic! What a difference two years has made. Now I completely see where it’s apparently hypocritical of me to be so pro-natural hair growing out of my head, and so anti-hair growing out of the rest of my body.

We’ve become an overplucked society, obsessed with manscaping and accepting of hair removal on children who are too young to even grow pubes. I don’t mean to add to the insistent hair removal drumbeats that grow louder every summer. Apologies to those of you I may have offended, that certainly wasn’t my intent. I’ve always loved the look of endlessly smooth, sexy legs a la Tina Turner, but I respect your right to remain hirsute.

I’ve been mulling over my reasons for being a proud afrobella and simultaneously an avowed body hair remover — both things definitely go back to my childhood. I remember a family friend who unabashedly sported a wild tangle of armpit hair. She was definitely an object of ridicule, and that negative connotation lingered with me. It was reinforced tenfold in high school. Back in the day I had a teacher who had extremely hairy legs and a penchant for knee-length skirts. Add to the fact that her last name contained the word “ram” — it didn’t take long for high school comediennes to dub her “ram goat,” “goat legs,” and assorted nicknames to that effect.

We wore knee-length skirts as part of our school uniform, so I got into shaving my legs from back then. I came to realize that waxing was preferable to bleaching when it came to dealing with facial hair. That came after a classmate was informed bluntly that her growing-out bleached mustache made her “look like a bumblebee.” Ouch! We had some sharp tongues back then!

It was from that point that I started paying closer attention to my own body hair situation, and I’ve never looked back. It’s a beauty regimen I don’t particularly relish — I don’t know any woman who actually is like, “yay, shaving!” I do sometimes get lazy and let things lapse for a week or sometimes more. The upkeep can be a PITA. But IMO, it’s worth it. Here’s why. Keeping my eyebrows neat and upper lip waxed definitely makes my face look cleaner and brighter, and my features more defined. It really does make a notable difference to my overall look. Waxing my armpits helps to keep my skin uni-toned — years of shaving left my armpits discolored, and waxing helps to alleviate that. And I choose to shave my legs for three simple reasons.

1. Personal preference — I think a smooth, stubble-free leg is beautiful. Give me a gam-revealing skirt, a pair of kitten heels, and freshly shaven legs, and I feel oh-so-ladylike. And sexy.

2. Shaving makes my legs feel touchable and smooth. I absolutely adore how soft my legs feel post-shave.

Which brings me to 3 — So does my husband. Bonus.

If you’re not down with shaving, waxing, or other forms of hair removal, that’s cool. You do you, I’ma do me. For me, that means stepping out into summertime with a big, crazy fro on the top of my head, paired with smooth, hairless legs. Call me crazy. Either way, there are some newish products on the market that are helping me keep my situation as smooth as possible.

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How To Support Charity (And Still Buy The Stuff You Want)

I always like to tell myself, if I were rich, I would live in a relatively modern and plush home, but instead of cars and Hummercopters, I’d spend my money on traveling and donating to charity. As it is right now in my check-to-check state of this-ain’t-livin’, I wish I could donate to charities more. But I can’t afford to give a lot, or to promise a regular donation to any organization right now. So I try my best to do what I can when I can by donating small amounts (hello, Barack Obama car magnet!), and by buying products that I yearn for that also support organizations I can get behind. Here’s a few I’ve been checking out.

For product junkie bellas like myself who are always looking for the most amazing hair stuff on the market, but also want that feeling of self-satisfaction that comes from making a donation, I definitely recommend investing in some Ojon. I’m a new believer, bellas. If you’ve been on a hunt for THE product that will nourish and strengthen your thirsty curls, and you’ve been wondering, is this stuff worth shelling out $55 for a tub of Restorative Hair Treatment? I’d say yes, it’s worth it. Especially when you consider that the purchase of items from this incredible hair product line directly supports the Tawira tribe in Honduras.

Ojon Restorative Hair Treatment absorbed easily and made my hair super strong — this may have been the toughest comb-through hair conditioning product I’ve tried yet. But by the end of the Ojon ritual — restorative treatment, ultra moisturizing shampoo, and ultra hydrating conditioner — I was ready to preach the gospel. Ojon left my hair shiny, defined, and strong. If your hair is breaking or damaged, I think this could definitely make a difference — but click here to read The Beauty Brains breakdown first, if you don’t have deep pockets. Ojon rocks, but it ain’t cheap. If you want to wade into the brand without shelling out $100 for a full size range of products, I recommend the Try Me Kit. It comes with everything you need to figure out whether or not the line is for you or not, and knowing that you’re simultaneously donating to the scholarship fund of underprivileged youths is definitely a reassuring incentive.

After you’ve pampered and nourished your tresses, you can continue the charity supporting trend when you style your hair. Bellas, allow me to introduce you to Kudu Klips, a collection of gorgeous, beaded hair clips that are produced in South Africa, mostly by single mothers.

I was lucky enough to meet the owner of the company last week at the super fun Shop Miami event, and I was very impressed by the quality and beauty of these clips. I was pretty damn skeptical about them though — the sweetheart of a lady at the booth was white with long, straight hair, like the women used in the online demos. The clip looked gorgeous on her, but I instantly assumed the Kudu Klip wouldn’t work as neatly or easily in my thick, short mop of kinks and coils that only touches the top of the back of my neck. “Of course it will!” she assured me, before slipping the long metal spikes through my hair, close to the scalp. “Because of the way it clips in, it’ll actually make your hair look longer,” she said. And lo and behold, she was right. I wish I had a photo — I was already sipping cocktails at this crowded social event at this point, so that didn’t occur to me. But the illusion of an updo with a few escaping tendrils around the clip at the back, did indeed make it appear as though my hair was longer than it actually is. This will work even better for you bellas with hair that touches the middle of your neck, or longer. Kudu Klips retail for $35, and these are some of the poor and physically disabled folks who proudly make them.

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Throwback Thursday — Luther, Luther, Luther

I never met him, never knew him, but I miss him. Luther Vandross was a rare artist, a man with a golden voice, and from all appearances, a golden personality. Having grown up on his music — raise your hand if you had a copy of The Best of Luther Vandross at your crib! — I associate Luther Vandross songs with key moments in my life.

Here and Now will forever remind me of my brother Clint’s wedding — that was the song he and his wife danced to. A House Is Not A Home takes me back to Sunday mornings at my home in Trinidad, when my father would enlist all of us to help with the housecleaning. Loud music was a must to complete the task, and Luther was often in the mix. I knew Luther’s version of Superstar long before I knew who The Carpenters were (and long, LONG before I heard Sonic Youth’s version which is so different from Luther’s. Proof that that song is timeless). But Luther’s like Aretha Franklin in that sense — once he covered your song, it was HIS. Forever. His voice is so often imitated, but there will never, ever be another Luther Vandross.

We’re rapidly approaching the anniversary of his passing — I still remember exactly where I was when I first heard the news. The news left me so sad and so shocked — especially when I realized he was only 54 years old. On July 1, 2005, Luther Vandross passed away from causes that were never publicly released, although it was well known that he dealt with weight loss and food issues. Luther’s weight vacillated greatly throughout his career, and he was known for moments of tremendous indulgence. All of the reports about Luther’s death addressed his health issues — he suffered with hereditary diabetes and hypertension, and had a stroke in 2003 days before his 52nd birthday. He never fully recovered from the effects of that, although he went on to release the poignant Dance With My Father shortly afterwards. He won four Grammys, but he was unable to celebrate the victory. Luther won song of the year for the song, Dance With My Father — the video for which, like Aaliyah’s Miss You, brings me practically to tears every time I watch it. Luther described that song as his “Piano Man,” and it’s heartbreaking that he isn’t around to perform it today.

Luther’s life and music inspire me creatively, his music stirs my soul and can bring prickly tears to the back of my eyes. But the circumstances of his passing inspire me in another way — Luther Vandross succumbed too young, to health conditions that are too common in America. Especially in the African American community. These are health conditions that plague my own family. If you’re like me, you’ve probably got some diabetes somewhere in the fam, and in my case, high blood pressure definitely runs close in the blood. I am doing everything I can now, while I can, to keep the health issues that simmer in my bloodstream at bay. It’s a daily struggle, one that I’m going to be writing about more often.

Luther Vandross left this world too soon, but he left us with such a glorious gift. So much great music, so many wonderful songs. What’s my favorite Luther song? That’s easy. Never Too Much! Oh, how I love that song. It showcases his voice’s incredible range and ability so perfectly, IMO.

Here’s Luther LIVE on The Early Show in 2000.

Look at how rapt that audience is. Listen to how flawless his voice is. Wow. I wish I could have been there.

Do you have a favorite Luther song? Did you love Luther’s spirit? Tell me how he made you feel. And happy Thursday — it’s almost the weekend!

A Most Unique Ask Afrobella

I keep an open mind and an open heart in general, and I hope you all know — readers of all ethnicities, hair textures, beliefs, and genders are welcomed warmly here at Afrobella. I think we can all learn from and support each other. I certainly learned alot in trying to answer this Ask Afrobella question, which truly came as a surprise. Here goes.

Hi Afrobella,

Thankyou
C

And C sent a photo which is absolutely so adorable. I wish I could share — but I can’t, so I’ll describe. C has a glorious, big head of hair that he wears pulled back in a puff, and the texture looks to be around a 3c/4a.

Let me just state off the bat, I immediately contacted C to let him know that I was down to answer his Ask Afrobella question, and I was happy to hear from him as a reader. And he wrote back the sweetest thing — “I really appreciate that you’re so enthusiastic; after all, I could have sent an email to a closet bigot - unlikely, based on the content of your website, but you never know. So, thankyou for being so lovely in your answer - it really makes me feel good that a complete stranger can be so understanding.”

It is my pleasure and privilege, C. Growing up in the Caribbean and having more than a few gay relatives and friends — most notably, Bruno, who I sincerely miss — made me realize in no uncertain terms how big and important a decision coming out can be. It certainly isn’t an easy road — on either side of the path you’re going to find people who are judging you and criticizing you, and often making life harder for you than it should be. Sometimes these people will be your relatives, or your friends, schoolmates, or co-workers. As the beauty blogger you’ve contacted with such a big question — it is my responsibility to find the best possible answer for you, and I’m gonna do just that.

If you happen to be a homophobic reader, you might as well stop reading right now — this post is all love.

C’s question was too big for me to answer alone. I turned to two friends of mine, with opinions I trust.

First of all, there’s Larramy, master of the DevaCurl curl cut. Larramy’s initial response was “Oh, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Not because he doesn’t understand what you’re feeling, C — he does. He just wants to make sure you’ve really thought out this decision, the pros, the cons, the potential effects and ramifications. Larramy wanted to make sure that you are planning to express your burgeoning femininity for the right reasons. Not for shock value, or to make a statement you aren’t fully ready to make. Now, let’s talk hair.

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Worth a Click

You know how much I love an inspiring story about bellas making their way in the world…

Meet Window Snyder, head afrobella in charge of security at Mozilla Firefox. Her Kenyan-born mother, Wayua Muasa, taught her to program the early computer programming language Basic, when she was five years old. When I was five, I was all about Smurfs and Fraggle Rock. Go figure.

I love that Window is doing great work for my internet browser of choice, and knocking down doors within her field. That’s my kinda lady. (Thanks to Nichelle, by way of Talking Stuff for that one!)

Did your high school have a debate team? Mine did not, but I’ve always been fascinated by the art form — it’s a world that I simply don’t understand, where speed speaking and conviction are necessary tools for victory. HBO is screening an incredible array of documentaries every Monday this summer, and last week’s screening, Resolved, gave amazing insight to the stories of two debate teams — Matt and Sam from a rich Texas burb, versus Richard and Louis, two inner-city debaters from Long Beach, California with crazy skills. This documentary made me laugh, cry, and admire the discipline debate requires from its contestants. All of the debaters were great, but Richard and Louis are especially amazing to watch. I sincerely hope they take the opportunities they’ve been given, and go far in life.

I haven’t yet watched this week’s doc, Hard Times at Douglass High: A No Child Left Behind Report Card, which I know will just break my heart. The series continues through August, and I’m already setting my DVR for The Black List, which includes insightful interviews with Toni Morrison, Suzan-Lori Parks, and Thelma Golden, among others.

Even if you don’t have premium cable, you too can get an excellent documentary fix this week when CNN’s Black in America hits the screen. Soledad O’Brien’s six-hour television event promises to examine the issues, successes and struggles of black men, women and families.

I’m definitely looking forward to that. It premieres in a month — Monday July 23rd and Tuesday July 24th at 9pmET/PT.

I find it kind of interesting that there’s this recent uptick in multifaceted documentaries about African American life, and such a dismal lack of diversity on television sitcoms and dramas. Click here to read an interesting piece about the lack of black people on TV for the upcoming schedule of new network programs, and what the NAACP is trying to do about it. I find it extremely disconcerting that Cleveland Brown is being described as “television’s great black hope for the 2008-09 season,” and I agree with Racialicious– my WTF-o-meter went wayyyyy off when I heard that news and saw the photo of the cast. But maybe that’s just because deep down, I’m a South Park fan.

I say, meh. What say you, bellas and fellas?

Goodnight, George Carlin

Wow. 2008 is shaping up to be a terrible year for celebrity deaths. The last thing I expected when I turned on the news this morning, was to learn that legendary comedian George Carlin was dead.

Carlin, age 71, succumbed to heart failure on Sunday evening.

Angry, biting, but always funny — the man who hosted the very first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975 was the consummate counterculture touring comedian. It’s one of my regrets that I never saw him perform live, although his 14 HBO comedy specials took his profane performances into homes throughout the US and around the world — including my own in Trinidad, where our family always enjoyed his work. I admired his dazzling wordplay, his outspoken opinions, and his take-no-prisoners, tell it like it is attitude to life (although he would probably take umbrage with my no-cursing policy… the man who dared to utter the seven words you can’t say on television didn’t take kindly to censorship of any form).

There’s a surfeit of stellar George Carlin clips on YouTube to enjoy, so click here for a great mix of his classic and more recent material.

George Carlin wasn’t known for holding any kind of religious belief — he was actually pretty anti-religion, so his attitude towards death was as curmudgeonly as you might expect… but as he said, he didn’t believe in an “up there,” where people could smile down on living people. Wherever he winds up — if there is in fact an afterlife — I hope Mr. Carlin can relax and take a harp lesson.

Blog Sister Love

Afrobella really just started out as a whimsical avenue for self expression. I didn’t expect to develop such a vibrant, wonderful readership, and I definitely didn’t expect to discover a kind of sisterhood in blogging. In my earliest days, I found inspiration and support in some blogs, and an online friendship with some others. Now that I’m approaching my two year anniversary (August, baby!), it’s kind of wonderful to see where we’ve all come.

My amiga Nichelle of Anovelista and 55 Secret Street recently celebrated her two year blog anniversary, and after a hiatus, is back to blogging about things lighthearted (WORD on the Prescriptives foundations!) and less so (her post On First Ladies Named Michelle is the kind of blogging I aspire to). Go ‘head, Nichelle! Congrats on the anniversary.

Congratulations are also in order to the brilliantly talented Andrea of Fly — the bella who blogs about design and fashion and always features amazing patterns is celebrating her two year anniversary with a party TODAY, Friday June 20 from 5 to 8 p.m.! If you live in Philly, go be fly with Andrea for me, will ya? She’s selling Fly bags, and has made all kinds of cool party favors. I wish I could go!

One of the first blogs that really inspired Afrobella and supported me from jump, was Concrete Loop. When Angel started the Loop, there were very few black celebrity entertainment blogs on the scene. Now there’s so many others competing for the same scoop on Usher, Chris Brown, Kanye, and Beyonce, but Concrete Loop has remained fresh by adding new ingredients to their already successful formula. I love that Concrete Loop features high school and college graduates, and a diverse and engaging Black History Spotlight alongside the latest dish on Rihanna’s new shoes. That’s edutainment, and they do it well.

The blog that helped me realize, “hey, I can do this too!” has just been honored big time — Time Magazine just named Concrete Loop one of their Best Sites of 08! That is HUGE, and big congratulations to Angel, Brian, and Tianna for doing the damn thing and making a name for themselves. I feel like a proud little sister!

I find continual inspiration at Clutch, an online magazine that features the kind of interviews I aspire to. Thanks to Clutch, I discovered the hilarious Stuff Black People Hate, and their interview with natural hairstyling guru and author Diane DaCosta was a great read for afrobellas seeking hair advice and information. And I am so sorry for only posting this now — Diana’s American Beauty Tour is about to hit Austin TX in one of her final stops, so naturally textured beauties in that region should check her out.

I’ve had some wonderful big sisters in blogging who have linked me and given me shout outs and encouragement along the way, and it’s wonderful to reciprocate in kind. It feels good to be recognized as the “hey, I can do that too!” inspiration for newer bloggers on the scene. I was so honored and psyched when Wes, the creator of Honey Brown Sugar, wanted to feature me in an interview on her site. And she called me her inspiration! Awww, Wes! That makes me so happy and proud. And I love what you’re doing. Click here to read the interview, which features a little spoiler about my next big hair product rave review. (a hint - it starts with a vowel and is very popular with natural haired bellas).

This post features some, but not all of the blog girlfriends I’ve made along the way, and definitely not all of the fabulous new blogs I’ve learned about recently. If you’re a blogger on the scene and you want me to add you to my links or just check you out, tell me about your blog in the comments below. I know how it feels to be just starting out and looking to make friends on the big scary internet. There’s room out here for all of us. Starting a blog is easy, keeping it going is hard work. So big respect to all of you who are out there doing your thing! And if you’re thinking about starting a blog of your own, that’s a whole ‘nother post. I promise to write more about that soon.

What are your favorite, must-read-daily blogs, bellas? Tell me, I’m always looking for new fresh reading material.

Happy Friday!

** edited Saturday, round 6:30 p.m. — Bellas, your comments are so amazing as always, I’m discovering all kinds of amazing blogs. Some of your comments with links are getting stuck in my spam folder. So worry not — I’m looking especially for your comments to fish them out. If you post it twice, I’ll definitely find it and de-spam for ya.

How You Can Help

All along the Mississippi River from Iowa to St. Louis, there is devastation. Levees have been breached, farmland is flooded. People are losing their homes and their livelihoods in a time when this country is already in dire financial straits.

There are some prominent donations being sent to the victims of the flood — most notably, the proceeds from that awful, racist pin that was being sold at the Texas GOP convention are being donated to the Red Cross.

If you want to help the homeless and suffering in the flooded midwest, call the American Red Cross at 309-743-2166, or visit www.redcross.org. Click here for an additional list of places you can donate time and funds to the folks who need it.

Why Not Gwen?

Today a public wake for Tim Russert will be held in Washington DC, yesterday his son Luke made an utterly remarkable appearance on the Today show, sharing memories of his dad along with Matt Lauer. I could NOT have been as thoughtful and together under the circumstances. I extend my deepest sympathies to the Russert family in their time of loss.

As a great man passes, the grief now turns into questions. How can NBC fill such enormous shoes, particularly at this significant time? In suggesting possible Meet the Press hosts, Gawker’s list includes such suggestions as Andrea Mitchell, Katie Couric, Chris Matthews, Joe Scarborough, and Keith Olbermann. The person who takes that seat every Sunday morning needs to be a calm, collected, experienced interviewer, a journalist who is unafraid to steer a conversation into uncomfortable territory. And I think they also need to hire someone who isn’t blatantly partisan, which eliminates some of the aforementioned. Tom Brokaw will likely take the helm for a while, and I think Brian Williams makes a likely, excellent choice… but what about Gwen Ifill? I’m a longtime admirer of hers, particularly as the host of PBS’s Washington Week.

Ifill’s first love was print journalism, but Russert helped her transition into the world of television, as she recalls in this touching tribute, “Farewell to a Standup Brother,” featured on The Root (love that site, BTW).

“There is quite a line of people who, at various times, have taken credit for my career. I usually let them do it, even if I remember events quite differently. But Tim deserves the credit. He not only talked me into switching to TV against my first instincts, but — five years later — he engineered a way for me to leave NBC when I was offered the chance to become the first African American to host a weekly public affairs program, Washington Week, over on PBS. He not only talked NBC executives into getting me out of my contract, but he also looked me in the eye and told me this was something I absolutely, positively had to do.”

Gwen also remembered her experiences with Russert on NPR with Farai Chideya and Michele Norris yesterday, in an interview that illuminated Russert’s role in mentoring several black journalists of note. In that vein, I think appointing Gwen Ifill as a moderator of Meet the Press would not only be a historic and significant decision by NBC, but I think it would make Russert tremendously pleased. At the end of that interview, Chideya invites the two esteemed journalists to consider how the election will be covered now, in light of Russert’s passing. Ifill expresses concern for the future of journalism — the industry truly is in terrifying times. There were significant layoffs at the daily in my own city just yesterday, so it’s hitting me all quite close to home.

“I think that it’s possible that Tim - I don’t think he’ll be replaced — but somebody will step in and we will ask the right questions. This campaign is too consequential, there are too many important issues to get to, for the questions not to be asked. They will be asked, but not quite in the same way.”

Too true. As someone who enjoys Ifill’s interview style — like Salon describes, she truly does exhibit “an external sense of cool and serenity, while underneath lie serious smarts, smooth execution and a healthy dose of skepticism” — I think she’d be a great choice. At any rate, I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of Gwen Ifill on NBC in the days to come, because as she said, this election is too significant. She can certainly be relied upon to ask the right questions, to bring a fresh perspective to this history in the making.

For this past Sunday’s Meet the Press, Gwen Ifill sat in a semicircle before that familiar table, alongside many Meet the Press regulars — Mike Barnicle, Maria Shriver, Doris Kearns Goodwin, James Carville and Mary Matalin (for some truly touching photos from the episode, click here. That one of Carville and Matalin made me weep too).

What are your thoughts, bellas? Is there any particular journalist who you’d like to see as the next host of the longest-running television show in worldwide broadcasting history?

RIP, Mr. Russert

The news that the great Tim Russert passed away so abruptly, hit me surprisingly hard today. I’m an admitted and unabashed national news junkie, and right now, this feels like my uncle has passed or something. I can’t imagine Sunday, or good grief, watching the upcoming election coverage — without him.

Tim Russert was a rare breed. He was a truly diligent journalist who was brave enough to ask the tough questions. He almost always hit his mark. This is a huge loss for his family, for NBC news, for journalism, for America. It’s heartbreaking that he won’t get to moderate these upcoming debates, and see whoever wins this important and historic election.

Andrea Mitchell just interviewed Russert’s physician, Michael Newman, about the cause of his death — sudden coronary thrombosis, despite Russert’s best efforts to exercise, maintain control over his high blood pressure. He struggled with his weight, and to find time to take care of himself. “He’d always say “Tomorrow. I’m going to start tomorrow, doc,” his doctor said, before admitting there was no indication of this coming at all. Russert passed a stress test in April, and just this morning, worked out on his treadmill. Heartbreaking, and scary. A wake up call for myself and so many of us who say to ourselves, tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.

Click here to watch an hour-long interview that Charlie Rose did in 2001, to commemorate a decade of Russert hosting Meet the Press. Warning, the audio’s out of sync and pretty loud. And yeah, the interview clocks in at 57 minutes long. But it’s a charming, interesting exchange between two energetic, engaged peers. For a newshound, it’s fascinating stuff.

Rest in Peace, Tim Russert. Sundays won’t be the same without you.

** On November 11, 2007, Tim Russert hosted Senator Barack Obama on Meet the Press, and it was memorable and lengthy. Click here for part one of that interview. Click here for Politico.com’s list of memorable Russert moments.