Here it is, the post I’ve contemplated a thousand times. The thing I have to share that I haven’t wanted to type or say aloud. I have cancer. I have multiple myeloma. Here’s my story, in summary.
I was diagnosed in January, but my symptoms first really appeared in October 2023, when hitting a pothole left me with several spinal compression fractures. I can think of earlier symptoms, but October marks a significant anniversary for me and it made sense to share this now. This has been the most difficult, painful, educational, and the most challenging year of my life, and it all began with hitting a pothole on a beautiful trip to the beach in Trinidad. Who could have imagined? Not me.
Multiple myeloma is a blood cancer that primarily affects the bone marrow, kidneys, and blood. According to The MMRF, nearly 180,000 Americans are living with multiple myeloma, and Black people are more than twice as likely to develop multiple myeloma.
I was initially misdiagnosed by my PCP. I almost went into kidney failure and was told by doctors I was in “grave danger”. In December and January, I couldn’t sit up in bed or walk without assistance and needed a cane, a walker, then a wheelchair to be mobile. And then I wasn’t mobile. I was in so much pain. Tossed around like a ragdoll in the hospital as they tried to fix me. I’ve been to the ER quite a few times. I have had two bone marrow biopsies – one of which took an hour and a half of the doctors hand-drilling into my bones. X-Rays, CT scans, MRI’s, you name it. I spent weeks in the hospital – thank you Northwestern Medicine for being the amazing institution you are. I made nurse friends, doctor friends and receptionist friends. Everyone there is a gem.
After stem cell harvest, I had a stem cell transplant. I did chemotherapy, lost my hair and am slowly watching it grow back. Steroids have affected my skin and led to weight gain – but after not being able to eat at all in January and February, my medical team is in full support of this new version of me who can sustain herself once more. My journey continues. This year, I reconnected with all of the versions of me there have been. My bones were as weak as butter (said the spine doctor), but I learned that I am much stronger than I ever could have thought. As a good old friend said, I am being made whole again. I’m skimming over a lot of pain and many ugly details and I’ll probably write more about this eventually. There’s so much more to tell.
I am so grateful to say that now I’m in remission. Remission must be one of the most beautiful words in the English language. If you want to know how I’m doing, some days are tough and that’s such a hard question to answer sometimes. There isn’t a cure for multiple myeloma yet, so my treatment continues, my healing continues, my journey continues.
This year, I learned so much about love, family, faith and true, there-for-you friendship. I always knew I had an amazing husband and incredible in-laws, but this year underscored it in so many ways, I can’t even put it into words. I am so thankful for the ways they have held me down through it all. My family could not physically be here with me, but I have been in touch with them every day since this happened and honestly, it brought us all closer together in spirit if not in person.
Art therapy saved me and I even had two pieces in an art exhibition at Gilda’s Club – what an incredible gift Gilda’s Club is to patients and caregivers. Thank you, Gilda’s Club. Thank you to my art therapist, Sophie.
I have gained so much perspective on what matters, truly. To the people in my life who checked in and showed up, I can’t say thank you enough for showing me love as a verb. You know who you are and I love you.
I have been through a lot but I am doing what I need to do to get back to myself again. Even in the midst of it all, I have so much to be thankful for. Blessings on blessings.
September was Blood Cancer Awareness Month and October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I have blood cancer, but breast cancer has closely affected my family, as has prostate cancer. I implore each and every one of you to get your regular check ups and stay on top of your health as best as you can. Early detection makes a huge difference and I only want the best for you.
For more information on multiple myeloma in specific, follow Black Myeloma Health and That’s My Word.
