Comments on: A Most Unique Ask Afrobella

By: forex

forex — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 03:15:52 +0000

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By: Catching Up With “C” | afrobella

Catching Up With “C” | afrobella — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 03:22:19 +0000

[…] bella formerly known as “C” replied to the encouraging comments all of you left on the A Most Unique Ask Afrobella post. Here’s that comment in its entirety, in case you missed […]

By: Chia

Chia — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 18:57:49 +0000

Wow. There’s so much here to respond to.
First of all, thankyou, Afrobella, for being so wonderful in your response, and dedicating the time to doing this.

Secondly, the hair advice is all excellent, and I will definitely be trying/following/etc. it as I get time.

Now for the other stuff.
As some commenters have said, I really would prefer it if I were referred to using female pronouns. I see myself as a girl. Therefore it’s difficult for me to read/ hear something calling me ‘he’ and apply it to myself.

The “Am I really ready?” question. Well, yes. I’ve dealt with this for 6 years of secondary school (I’m going into upper sixth in September. Not sure what year that is in American terms, but I’m 17). I know that I’ll be happier presenting how I want to be, whatever the outcome. I am ready for this. However, to be honest, I’m not sure that there will be any problems. Since emailing Afrobella the first time, I’ve come out completely in my school. Everyone there knows now, and everyone is incredibly supportive. People have been curious, but not hostile (”Go C!!” - My school is, thankfully, not one where I’ll need pepper spray, but thanks for the advice).

As for why I didn’t want my photo/name published. Well, my full name (not Chia) is quite rare, so any references to me on the internet are therefore fairly easy to find.
Whilst I would never want to be “stealth”, I also want to be in control of who knows my medical history. Dan asked “You think they won’t notice you, when you are suddenly walking around with breasts?”. No, I’m not that naïve, but at the same time, do you go around saying “Hi, I’m Dan, I’m gay.”?
I don’t really know why I didn’t want my photograph published. Just being in the closet mindset for so long, I suppose. Old habits die hard. Then again, it’s not as if a photograph can be searched for in the same way as a name. By all means, Afrobella, publish it. It might be helpful for people to see where I’m coming from.

There was a lot that I wanted to cover here, so I might have forgotten something, but I’ll post it if I have.

Again, thanks, to everyone, for your support and advice.
Chia (C)

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 22:48:42 +0000

Bella, you are such a sweet and amazing person. You truly are.

When you talk to Ms. C again, suggest to her that she email or PM Mr. B Scott over there on youtube. He is a “nappy”, he’s biracial and highly androgenous (though his hair is more on the feminine side.) Maybe he can help her when it comes to styles. B Scott’s hair is always fabulous and most importantly, healthy.

By: Lady

Lady — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 05:43:16 +0000

This post made me cry. I have an online friend who opened up to me and I messed it up. She explained that she felt her being a female was a mistake and she feels she was meant to be a man. I called her a gay and she got really upset with me and said it was a mistake telling me.
I apologized to her but it was too late. I didn’t mean to offend but I did. She says she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.
C, best of luck to you. Whatever you decide to do,take your time hon. And twistouts would be a great look on you.

By: mahoganydymond

mahoganydymond — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 14:51:41 +0000

I think that it was very nice of you to help C out. I understand what he is going through. I had a cousin (RIP TIM) that was going through the same phase. He was openly gay though, but got tired of being picked on. So he wanted to become Temesha. He wore all kind of wigs. I think he took a few of mine. Then once he grew his hair, oooo it was so beautiful. It went great for his long eyelashes. Then as the years went by, he embrace the fact that he was a gay male and went back to living as a male.

By: tanya

tanya — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 20:28:03 +0000

C, I applaud your decision to be who you wanna be. I can not possibly put myself in your position but having had many friends who’ve come out to me, family and other friends, it helps to have a support system. I wish you all the support and love that you deserve, no matter what you decide. As for Afrobella and the other readers, you all are so great. The outpouring of support is wonderful. I just wish people in general could be more compassionate.

By: Go C!!!

Go C!!! — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 05:46:33 +0000

let’s not forget you guys. C is a female, genetically male, but female nonetheless. i think C would prefer to be called a she (idk tho, maybe she doesn’t mind, but i have friends in the same position). the great thing about afro puffs and 3c/4a hair, is that it IS androdgenous, and you can see men and women rocking the same style. you don’t need an overtly female style, honey you ARE female!! guys and girls rock long hair and everything, it’s just based on preference, right? Rock the hairstyle YOU want to rock okay?? look in magazines and see one you like, then take that to the hair salon. there are many websites like lhcf (long hair care forum) and stuff like that which will help you with maintenance and stuff, also agazine articles too. overall, be the girl you wanna be, but don’t overdo it. you dont need to prove to anyone that you are a female. you know it, and that’s enough. and let the haters say whatever, being true to yourself is better than living in a lie. carry pepper spray and tell the school if things get violent too. i’m proud of you, don’t b scared, it can be done!!! my friends and i are rooting for you C!!!

By: gretchenmaria

gretchenmaria — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 23:52:07 +0000

First off, good luck C!

Secondly, while its completely up to your hair texture whether it will work, I and a giant bunch of my curly-haired friends use Special Effects Curl Boosting products. The gel type product is really think and works pretty well, and they have a wax thingy that works too. Again, best of luck!

By: Mikaela

Mikaela — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 23:14:50 +0000

Wonderful post, it really touched my heart.
Plus, Dan’s comments made me laugh.