Guilty Pleasures

I need to start this review with some background. Sometime last year I was wandering through the overwhelming halls of Macy’s/Burdines in Dadeland Mall. I believe I was en route to Bath & Body Works (Lordy, I can spend hours in there. I find myself testing and smelling everything, usually with one or two over- enthused store clerks in tow. I digress). While I wandered through the cosmetics section, some dude in a shirt and clip-on tie asks me if I’d like to try a new fragrance. Before I had even fully acquiesced, he sprayed my wrist. I took the little card from him, slipped it in my purse and went on my merry way. When I smelled my wrist, I was swept away. The scent was warm and fruity, sweet and feminine without being cloying, and blended with my chemistry better than almost any other perfume I had worn before. I looked at the scented card. It was J.Lo Live. “Ick,” I instantly thought.

I’ll out myself right now. I am not a Jennifer Lopez fan. I can’t think of a song of hers I have ever really enjoyed. I have seen several of her films – inadvertently, I will add. I loved Money Train, but more so for Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes’ camaraderie. (They should totally do another movie together, I think). I really enjoyed Selena. But then I was subjected to The Wedding Planner. And Enough. And Jersey Girl. And on one fateful lazy Sunday morning, my husband watched Gigli for laughs. After that, I was done with J.Lo. During the Bennifer mayhem and the MTV special on her clothing line, she came across as controlling and materialistic in the same way that Kimora Lee Simmons does. She tried too hard to convince me with all that jibber-jabber about “Jenny on the Block” and “I’m Real.” The lady doth protest too much, I thought. And don’t even get me started on Marc Antony. I have a hard time differentiating him from his character in Man on Fire. Call me a hater, but J.Lo seemed like the kind of woman I would never be friends with. But her perfume smelled like heaven on me. Dammit. I had no desire to give Jennifer Lopez some of my hard-earned cash. So I shamefacedly asked my husband to buy it for me for Christmas.

I have been a Chanel #5 girl since I was like six years old. I remember my mom had Chanel #5 talc that I adored and definitely used around that age. I still love the scent – it’s truly timeless. Although I still consider it my signature scent, J.Lo Live crept up on me and (gasp) I find myself preferring it to Chanel for everyday use.

I even found this article on the amazing fragrance blog Bois de Jasmin (as well as this disquietingly similar Slate article that goes into more detail about the making of J Lo Live) that described the olfactory notes of the scent. Sandalwood and tonka beans and pineapple with violets, oh my. The base note of toasted caramel is what lingers on my skin the longest. Honestly, I have never gotten more compliments on a perfume that I get on J.Lo Live. I hate it when people tell me I smell great. Because then the inevitable question is, what perfume are you wearing? I always come clean in an apologetic tone. I learned something valuable from the experience. If something works for me, then I am going to endorse it without shame. Everyone has guilty beauty pleasures. Here’s some more of mine.

The more fluffy and fabulous my hair grew; the more I wanted to express my personal style. I love big, funky earrings, and I buy mine at Claire’s. I shop there ALL THE TIME. I have an insane amount of earrings and hair accessories from the store. I will admit, I feel silly when I’m choosing headbands and say, an eight year old girl with a rainbow purse wanders over to the tiara section right next to me, but whatever. At Claire’s I can get a pair of fly dangling earrings and a classy headband for a grand total of ten bucks. Plus, most people my age aren’t likely to be wearing a Nicky Hilton headband. Having said that, I am so totally going to there this weekend to buy these earrings.

There are many lip glosses that I love, but the one that’s lasted me the longest is my Bonne Belle Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker. I’m not sure how long I’ve had it, but long enough that the label has rubbed off to reveal smooth silver foil underneath. The other day I left it in my car, and when I tried to use it again, it was all warm and slick. Awesome. I decided to leave it in my car every day. I also have a Starburst liquid lipgloss that’s just as vintage.

I like my lip glosses red, like my Kool Aid. Oh Yeah.

The next time I go to Walmart, I totally plan to buy one of these Mary-Kate and Ashley Metallic Eyes Chrome Eye Pencils. I am intrigued by their jumbo glitter eye crayon. I am a total sucker for fat eye pencils, and I also love buying products for their kitsch value, like this George Foreman Knock Out household cleaner I found in the bargain bin for a buck at Big Lots. It smells like Armor All, but it’s got George Foreman on the bottle! Who could say no to that? Mr. T needs to get on his hustle. I would totally buy Mr. T dishwashing detergent, just for fun.